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Okay, we get it. You think Pope Francis is pretty cool. But we think you are forgetting a few important facts about the pope.

1. HE IS THE LEADER OF THE GREAT AND ABOMINABLE CHURCH

Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote: “It is also to the Book of Mormon to which we turn for the plainest description of the Catholic Church as the great and abominable church.”

You hear that? The Catholic Church is the great and abominable church, the mother of all harlots, the whore of Babylon. As leader of the Catholic Church, the pope is basically the father of the mother of all harlots.

So even though he has ordered the Vatican to be open with their finances and even though he has drastically reduced the level of institutional opulence, the great and abominable church is known for loving wealth and luxury. I wouldn’t be surprised if he built a shopping mall right next to the Vatican!

I can’t cope with the pope!

pope_bus

Nice limo!


2. HE IS NOT A PROPHET, SEER, OR REVELATOR

He may have some cool titles, like Vicar of Christ, Supreme Pontiff, Bishop of Rome, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, and Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, but none of the pope’s titles are Prophet, Seer, or Revelator. So how qualified can he actually be?

Honestly, can someone think of the last revelation the pope gave? It’s almost laughable to think that the leader of the largest sect of counterfeit Christianity doesn’t even talk about seeing visions or receiving revelations. If he were actually receiving revelations, he’d probably talk less about rampant poverty and hunger, child abuse, the Syrian war, and climate change, and would focus on essential issues like pornography and fighting gay marriage.

I’m at the end of my pope rope!

Telling Republicans how to run the country?! Who does he think he is, the spokesman for Jesus?


3. HE DOES THINGS TO BE SEEN OF MEN

Jesus condemned doing things to be seen of men. So every time you see the pope feeding the hungry, kissing the feet of prisoners, blessing the sick, selling his personal belongings to benefit the poor, embracing children, and openly fraternizing with all levels of society, remember, he is doing all these things to become pope-ular.

The pope would be a much better example of Jesus if he used the secret tunnels under the Vatican, rode around in an enclosed vehicle, and maybe only made a public appearance once or twice a year for special church meetings or his own birthday celebration.

Pope Francis? More like Nope Francis!

Is this really something Jesus would do?


4. HE CALLS GOOD EVIL AND EVIL GOOD

Before your next popegasm, think about some of the Satanic tripe coming out of the Vatican. Besides accepting evilution and the Big Bang, he also called the Internet, “a blessing from God.” YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP.

It’s like he wasn’t even paying attention to the last General Conference where the Internet was described as “the faceless, cynical voices of those in the great and spacious buildings of our time… [With] electronic distortions carefully and deliberately composed to destroy our faith.”

Even worse, he says even godless ATHEISTS are redeemed by the blood of Christ! AS IF! This should be no surprise since he has also basically encouraged everyone to “drop the pope soap” by embracing homosexuals in the church! This is the very definition of calling evil good and good evil!

The pope is on dope.

I couldn't drink that on my mission.

I wasn’t allowed to drink that on my mission.


5. HE ISN’T EVEN MORMON

Don’t let his smile deceive you; Pope Francis is not happy. How could he be? He is Catholic. As Elder Ballard recently said, “[Catholics] don’t know who God is. They don’t know who the Savior is; nor do they know who the Holy Ghost is.” How can you be truly happy if you don’t even know who God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost are?

In a recent press conference, the pope criticized Catholics “who believe they possess the absolute truth…” because even he knows that absolute truth is found solely in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

You may think it cute that he visits homeless shelters, feeds the hungry, and blesses the sick, but think of how much more the pope could do for the world as a Latter-day Saint. His time would much better be spent finding names on ancestry.com, doing endowments for the dead, going to tithing settlement, raising funds for Friends of Scouting, and cleaning church buildings.

Pure popostasy!

Washing feet is for the spiritual elite who receive the Second Anointing, not for common people! Way to throw pearls before swine! That foot has TATTOOS! Disgusting.

Washing feet is for the spiritual elite who receive the Second Anointing, not for common people! Way to throw pearls before swine! That foot has TATTOOS! Disgusting.



Richard R. Lyman
Richard R. Lyman
Well-dressed and down for a good time, Richard R. Lyman was the most recent apostle to be excommunicated. The poor guy actually believed what Brigham Young said about only polygamists being in the Celestial Kingdom. I guess you're only allowed to take "spiritual wives" when you're President of the Church. Follow on Twitter: @tgilliland789
  • Swagavad Gita

    Someone needs to tell the Pope all of this. I bet he’d be shocked.

  • Kayla L

    Another perfect example of how the LDS Church cannot possibly be the “one true church.” If someone threatened to maim and mangle my posterity unless I chose a religion, I would totally be smoking the Pope’s dope.

    • Dr_Doctorstein

      Not to proselytize or anything, but have you considered Rastafari?

  • Sker

    Pope-ularity breeds contempt.
    -Male George

  • Dr_Doctorstein

    If the Pope is the father of the whore of Babylon and she’s the mother of all harlots, then I’d love to see their family photo.

  • Jaasiel Rodriguez

    Catholicism is an affront to American Conservative Religion. It’s what happens when a REAL internationally organized religion, with power distributed amongst multiple ethinicities, nationalities, and races, can influence it’s adherents across borders. Not saying that catholicism has it all figured out, but they seem to have learned from their mistakes, and are trying to be a force for good. When a religion sees my rational disbelief or inability to experience god, and doesn’t label me an infidel or gentile, there’s someone who I can listen to for guidance.

  • Martin Harris Luther

    Thank you for this!

  • BelgianBicyclist

    #4 We WERE allowed to drink hierba mate in Tarija, Bolivia (1980-81). It’s a pleasant little custom, passing the PORO around the room. I referred to it as a BONG. My companions and I figured, “well, it’s not coffee, it’s not tea, sure…”

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