joseph smith hipster

SALT LAKE CITY- In an attempt to appeal to the rising generation, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just announced the release of a new edition of the Book of Mormon written in millennial language.

“It’s way tight,” said spokesperson LeGrand Frost. “Now youngsters can read the scriptures in the language they understand which is totes legit… or something.”

Since its first publication in 1830, The Book of Mormon has been translated into at least 80 languages. While all the translations have attempted to stay true to the formal structure of the original manuscript, the Millennials’ Edition, makes no such attempt.

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“Sure its a ‘gutsy’ move,” said Frost. “But we have to do something rad to keep the 14-28 year olds interested. Apparently more meetings isn’t trill enough for them.”

Besides helping Millennials, Frost also stated that the Millennials’ Edition is intended to help parents familiarize themselves with the language of their children.

Daughters of Zion
“It’s important for parents to communicate with their kids on their level. The Millennials’ Edition will help them do that. A family that baes together, stays together.”

The Book of Mormon Millennials’ Edition is now available on the LDS scriptures app.

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Richard R. Lyman
Richard R. Lyman
Well-dressed and down for a good time, Richard R. Lyman was the most recent apostle to be excommunicated. The poor guy actually believed what Brigham Young said about only polygamists being in the Celestial Kingdom. I guess you're only allowed to take "spiritual wives" when you're President of the Church. Follow on Twitter: @tgilliland789
  • Daniel

    This would have been funnier if I hadn’t read it already last year.

    http://rexburgsquirrel.com/2015/06/19/church-releases-millennials-edition-book-of-mormon/

    Do you write for both websites, or is this plagiarism?

    • Richard R. Lyman

      The Rexburg Squirrel was my website. I am the author of this content. The domain just recently expired and rather than letting this article disappear, I resurrected it here.

      Thanks for asking. I should have clarified.

      • Daniel

        That’s fair. It’s too bad the domain is expiring. Honestly I think Rexburg Squirrel content is more entertaining than what I read here. It’s like the Mormon Onion, whereas I get a lot of negativity here. But I suppose you have the website data. I guess nobody was reading it.

        • Richard R. Lyman

          It was getting a lot of views. I just wasn’t writing enough to make it worth keeping. Have you read The Mormon Tabernacle Enquirer? Very funny stuff by a friend.

  • Mike

    HAHA!! This was good!

  • Thaumaturgy

    ENCORE

  • Greatescaper

    I died!!! Hilarious

  • St. Donnan

    The Book of Mormon has seen more updates than Microsoft Windows. Although the LDS Church has tried its best to force users to update to the latest version of the Book of Mormon, many Latter-day Saints prefer the old clunky version with its numerous grammatical mistakes and its claims that the Lamanites are the principal ancestors of the American Indians. Later this year, the Church will release a major update of the Book of Mormon, with new footnotes and explanatory text for all the verses on horses, chariots, and steel swords. Word has it that the the Correlation Department has fine tuned its seer stone and promises this latest edition will have fewer errors than previous versions.

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