So Let Me Get This Straight. You're Telling Me...

We should worry about exposed shoulders, two-piece swimsuits, and short shorts even though the only thing the book “written for our day” says about clothing is to beware of expensive, fine-quality clothes like those typically worn by church leaders?

Gay men can’t be Boy Scout leaders, but straight men are allowed to ask teenagers deeply personal questions about their sexuality behind closed doors?

Despite Judeo-Christian history being full of polygamy and concubinage, marriage has always been between one man and one woman?

Joseph Smith (“the man who communed with Jehovah”) and Jesus (Jehovah) frequently had alcohol and even drank wine shortly before their deaths, but alcohol today will keep somebody out of the temple?

A person must be honest in their dealings with their fellow men to get into a temple run by an organization that continues to obfuscate its history and practices, make demonstrably false claims, and hide its financial records?

Nephite prophets went through great pains to engrave their history on plates that were abridged, protected, transported, and buried by Moroni so that Joseph Smith could dictate the Book of Mormon without even looking at them?

Members can’t drink beer which is prescribed in the Word of Wisdom, but can eat meat excessively which is prohibited by the Word of Wisdom?

Joseph Smith saw God, Jesus Christ, and the angel Moroni but the plates were the physical evidence he needed in order to have faith in his calling. Yet the reason there is no physical evidence of the Book of Mormon is so that members can have faith?

The church always talks about protecting religious freedom, but its schools expel anyone who leaves the church?

A member must declare every year that they pay 10 percent of their money to a church that won’t declare what they do with their money?

Members must sustain church leaders as prophets, seers, and revelators despite the fact that leaders do not prophesy, “see,” or reveal?

Are you joking?