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Joseph Smith once said, “No man knows my history.” So here’s your chance to prove how much you know about the Prophet of the Restoration.
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Wow, are you like Richard Bushman or something? You know EVERYTHING about Joseph Smith. Joseph Smith said, “No man knows my history.” That means you must be more than a man. Congratulations!
You know a few things about Joseph Smith. Not much to brag about, but enough for you to get by in Utah. You must be like a seminary teacher or an LDS missionary.
You don’t know hardly anything about Joseph Smith. That’s what you get for sleeping through early-morning seminary. Hopefully that nap was worth the eternity you’re going to spend in the Terrestrial Kingdom.
Wow, it’s like you didn’t even try to understand the prophet of the Restoration. It is said that “millions shall know Brother Joseph again.” Not you. You’ll be knowing Brother Joseph for the first time. Man, that will be embarrassing for you. Go read Rough Stone Rolling or something.
Where was Joseph Smith born?
Great job! As you know, Joseph Smith was born into a good Protestant family. They were not at all Catholic. Not even a little bit.
Ever heard of the Joseph Smith History in the Pearl of Great Price? You may want to consult it before continuing on.
What did Joseph Smith see in the sacred grove?
Wow! You must have Israelite blood!
Wow. You must be a total Gentile.
Why did the Angel Moroni appear to Joseph Smith?
Good job! You probably know Egyptian too don’t you?
It sucks to suck.
What tool did Joseph Smith use to translate the Book of Mormon?
You must be a student of FAIR Mormon. You know SO MUCH about Joseph Smith!
You know what you and Vladimir Putin have in common? Neither of you know anything about Joseph Smith.
What was the original name of the church?
No gays. Always and forever. Amen and amen.
If you thought it was the Breakfast Club, you are wrong. That is a movie, not a church. The other answers were wrong too. Ugh, it’s frustrating how little you know about Joseph Smith.
Why did Joseph Smith reveal the Word of Wisdom?
Correct! You know how Mormons love to drink the Kool-Aid.
Here’s what I need you to do: Go to a second-grade classroom and choose any random student. Ask them any question about Joseph Smith, and chances are they will know more about him than you.
What was the purpose of Zion’s Camp?
Correct! Why else would they camping? Gotta get your Eagle or you can’t drive the covered wagon!
Incorrect. You must have been a fence-sitter in the pre-mortal realm.
Which words of comfort did Joseph Smith receive in Liberty Jail?
Correct! When you enter the next life, a great hush will fall over every every corridor in heaven, and all in attendance will bow at your presence.
BLEGHHH! I literally just threw up in disgust at how little you know about Joseph Smith.
How was the Nauvoo temple different than modern temples?
Correct! You know a lot about Joseph Smith, ancient Egypt, the temple, and probably Ben Carson. If the glory of God is intelligence, then you are almost at god status!
Wrong! You probably sell your signs and tokens for money! You have them, I presume?
Why did Joseph Smith go to Carthage Jail?
Correct! Why do you think Joseph Smith was in jail all the time? Because he had a friggin’ awesome, but also illegal, testimony for heaven’s sake!
Wrong! It’s sinful how little you know about Joseph Smith. You ought to be Blood Atoned.